Forward Through the Fog

It smells like Fall now,

bonfires and dead leaves.

Beneath my jacket, the skin on my arms bubbles,

trying to fend off the cold.

In a year, I’ll have to know

where I’m going and

I’m already scared.

 

Fog cuts off the sidewalk in front of me.

Good thing I’m walking.

 

I want you to be standing on the corner,

right where the sidewalk turns.

I want to navigate together not just because

doing it alone makes my throat close

but because it’s pointless without you.

 

My feet slap against the pavement.

Too late to turn around.

Phantom fingers from the past pull me

back.

Or they try.

That girl’s gone.

 

Never, Never, Never

Every year the autumn whisper

whistles over hills and vales,

bringing word of fairy dances

and the fair folk lore and tales.

Never resting, pixie feet will dance until the dawn,

rhythmic stepping, twirling, prancing ever on and on.

“Invite the mortals,” they all jeer

but never make it past a sneer.

You’re the first invited in

and never will you leave again.

Accept your fate. Accept your lot.

You’ll keep dancing til you rot.

When Nothing Was Real

Trilling keys of the piano

And spring blooms

Take me to a Victorian garden, a life that’s not

my own.

 

Fall leaves,

the bonfire,

and the brassy sound of a marching band

take me to high school

when marching made me strong.

 

Crisp cold,

snow coating everything

take me home

to being little when nothing mattered,

when nothing was real.

 

And summer brings me to you,

the time we were most separated

and the time I almost lost you.

Sun screen and swim suites and part-time jobs.

And none of it matters without you.

Contemplating How the World Will Burn

It’s like standing on the train tracks,

the headlights filling your eyes as it bares down on you.

The sound splits to the sides, skipping your

ears.

The vibrations shake your foundation.

Too late to jump off the tracks.

 

It’s like waiting to board the plane,

the sun setting down the runway.

You’re going somewhere you’ve never been,

and you don’t have a return flight.

 

Or maybe it’s like living normally,

except everything cuts off.

Without warning, you’re sitting in the living room,

and then it’s dark.

There’s no replay of your life,

no time for a final thought.

Just the power button turning off.

Just eternity.

Spell to Catch a Cheater

Follow all of these directions exactly. No substitutions. No changes.

Ingredients:

your hair

his hair

her hair

his blood

your blood

blood of the enemy

three dead hearts- Disclaimer: These cannot be animal hearts or child hearts. They must vary from the youngest to the oldest person he would cheat on you with. They should all be female hearts if he would be cheating on you with a female.

cigarettes smoked by you and him

his fluids- interpret as you will

 

Directions:

Mix it all in an electric mixer.

Add it to a cake mix.

Feed him the cake.

Feed her the cake.

If they don’t get sick, they’re cheating.

DON’T EAT THE CAKE.

Post-Wreck

Blood trickles up her forehead                                                                                                            We flipped.

from the corner of her mouth, along her                                                                                           I think we hit a tree.

nose.                                                                                                                                                           There were headlights.

My sister stares back at me,                                                                                                                   Or was it a deer?

mouth open in a scream                                                                                                                          Light reflecting back

and eyes unblinking.                                                                                                                                 From the deer’s eyes.

Ellusive Illusions

They all start with white wings.

I don’t know what happens

but they never stay white.

 

Mine faded to an ashy gray by my eighth

birthday.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

 

Some of them break.

Sometimes in the

middle of flying.

 

I guess we pretend we’re innocent,

pretend we’re better,

pretend we’re whole.

 

I’m sick

of pretending.

How Uncertainty Feels

My throat constricts.

The heat of the summer was-

Unknown and uncertainty floats-

This isn’t what-

What can-

What should-

How can I stress over and prepare for something-

No schedule.

Unsure.

The Story of an Empath

Gold eye shadow brings out the green

in her eyes,

drawing my attention from across                                                                         the room.

The music blasting in my ear cuts

out.

My center of gravity shifts.

And I know.

 

I’m sorry for your loss.

That’s too formal.

Hey, I know I don’t know you, but I know your best friend just died and I’m sorry.

I sound crazy.

Weaving through the crowd, I try

to get closer to her.

But the weight of her grief squeezestheairfrommylungs.

 

Two hours and thirty minutes of avoiding her ends

when she taps my shoulder.

Her long, dark hair brushes against me as I turn.

Her eyes are glossy and bloodshot, but she smiles.

And my chest releases.

And the hurt heals to hope.

Unsent Texts

(To your ex)

I still love you.

Can we at least be friends?

Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life.

Actually it wasn’t. You’re a huge douche.

Please, I’ll do anything to get back with you. I can change.

Listen, that friends with benefits thing sounds nice.

I’m dumping your shit on your porch.

Can I have my favorite book back?

Hey, how’s life?

Just thought you should know, I’m dating someone new.

 

(To your mom)

Stop stalking my dates on Facebook.

Stop trying to control my life.

No, I’m not having kids yet. Stop sending baby clothes.

 

(To your old best friend)

Saw this and thought of you.

We should get lunch soon.

Why’d we stop hanging out?

 

(To your crush)

You look nice 😉

Wanna grab dinner sometime?

I’m sorry that I’m so awkward.

Kiss my face.